Musings on the Meaning of Life & Actionable Ways to Enjoy Your Life (a causal first-article topic)
- modickso5
- Aug 9, 2023
- 7 min read
The trend right now is to romanticize your life…but that’s not always attainable.
Syzygy. In astronomy, the word syzygy is used to describe the alignment of celestial bodies, often the sun, the moon, and the earth, but the term can be used to describe any time planetary bodies line up with each other. Carl Jung applied the term in psychology to describe the union of the anima, the feminine soul, and the animus, the masculine spirit, that lives in all of us. The term means synergy, a complex interplay between parts that do different things but complement each other, the yin and the yang.
I first heard the word during the final week of my yoga teacher training. I spent the previous few weeks of the training with pressure at the back of my mind – when will your epiphany come? You should be using this time to make the world and your place within it (so your career, personal relationships, and generally the way you live your life) all make sense! No pressure. I frequently had to remind myself that many philosophical schools of thought and the history of the Eastern Yogic tradition spent thousands of years grappling with these very same questions about the meaning of life and the human experience… so I probably wasn’t going to find the answer in one month.
What I did discover, however, is how much more attainable it is to discover YOUR meaning of life. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t have to be a static phrase or a finite conclusion. On the contrary, I discovered, at least for me, that fulfillment and personal purpose are fluid and complex…that’s what makes it beautiful.
Allow me to explain (and provide some tips to hopefully inspire or help you with your journey):
Beyond personal inquiry and defining my values, I became curious about what living life actually means to me and how my life can be enjoyed. Life is constantly in motion, from one moment to the next. Even when it feels like life is at a standstill (I’m looking at you, pandemic lockdown time vortex), the minutes creep by and things still happen. With this time passing, thoughts are still generating and emotions continue bubbling up.
In one’s life, there are pockets of joy and ecstasy… what many would consider true LIVING (the butterflies and thrill of a first kiss, that feeling of elation after completing a momentous task, and the swell of accomplishment after, the blissful moment of deep belly laughter surrounded by friends, or the surreal feeling of driving on an empty road late at night, the lights of the world blinking at you). There are also pockets of immense pain and suffering (the emptiness of loss, the searing pain of a betrayal). I’m not sure who coined the term, but these moments are when you feel like a “main character” in a movie.
In main character moments, we feel “locked in,” the utter definition of present moment sensation. Even if we’re not trying to cultivate “mindfulness” in the traditional sense – by noticing the color of the ceiling tiles or tuning in to what you’re feeling in the moment – its easier to call to mind the felt sensations in the body, the thoughts in the mind, the feeling in the soul in notable moments of joy or duress.
These moments are often what we consider core memories, they play a role in defining who we are.
I came to the realization (some might say a very obvious one) that there are numerous other moments between the major pockets of life. There are lots of tiny moments of sadness, anxiety, annoyance, confusion, and happiness. More minor, mini “main character” moments – the in-between dialogue and the build-up that happens between major plot points, if you will. They make up the complex, dynamic nature of human emotion, the space between the core pockets. I’m quick to diminish and overlook these moments. The day the term ‘syzygy’ was introduced to me, I began to ponder the complexity of this idea – how things that are seemingly opposite (like being happy and being sad) can exist at the same time, on a dynamic spectrum, sandwiched between a host of other feelings and moments. For one to be true, both can also be true, and all have to be true and present.
In my view, this is the essence and the subtle beauty of life.
Particularly in one’s youth and adolescence, the routine and the mundane of life are stigmatized. We tend to idealize the first kiss, the party all night, having magical and spontaneous conversations with a stranger, moments – moments where the sense of true living is tangible. There’s a tendency to experience shame when the highlight reels of social media suggest we’re the odd ones out for not having exciting lives. I think most of us know and agree that for there to be these pockets of joy, wonder, and ecstasy (and to truly savor these moments) there must also be moments of sadness, grief, and despair… because how would we be able to recognize and appreciate the difference? Beyond this interplay of two elements in life, I’m curious to know if there’s a word to compliment syzygy – a word to define our ‘ in-between’ moments.
These moments, I would argue, are where the living happens.
I made the claim earlier that I believe I’ve cultivated an understanding, comfort, and peace within my life. I definitely do NOT have an answer for the existence of the human race or an answer to the age-old question ‘Why are we here?’ For me, the fulfillment and ease rests within the knowledge that I’m never going to have a finite answer and I’m never going to reach a point where every day feels like the pinnacle of enlightenment – a prolonged feeling of ecstasy, joy, happiness. I’m an anxious person and I work in the real world. There will always be trivial annoyances, tasks that have to get done, and worries I have (ranging from ‘I hope I didn’t lose my favorite necklace’ to anxiety over the mortality of my loved ones). The “aha” moment – the acceptance of this – came when I gently acknowledged that this is a part of myself, and a part of what living means for me. The small in-between moments, the chatter of my brain, can be silly and comforting, at least for me. Finding ease and enjoyment in the small moments – work was busy and draining today… but that smile from the lunch shop staff felt so genuine or my cat is acting differently I hope he’s not sick… but look at the way his fur shines in the sunlight, I’m so happy to feel him nudge up against me at this moment – can detract from the reel of circular reasoning and brain overwhelm that can sometimes feel like a distraction and the reason why we can’t just enjoy and live life.
I’m not trying to posit that you should approach life with toxic positivity and find joy in every moment. It’s crucial to point out that barriers like mental health struggles and living in poverty impact how one navigates and views life. It’s less realistic to zoom out and sit within the in-between moments if they’re dominated by stress and anxiety when very real problems like putting food on the table and paying bills or stabilizing your mental thoughts take up your awareness. I’m privileged to ponder and play with these ideas.
However, if I’ve sparked your interest, I’ve compiled a few ways to notice and (maybe) tweak your approach to life in small ways, whenever the mood strikes you. I strove to compile unique tips. I’m all for trying your hand at meditation, taking up a personal yoga practice, and spending less time on technology devices. However, I know the market is currently saturated with reminders and pressure to do these things. Instead, I hope to inspire you with reasonable practices that could be sandwiched within your busy schedule or some food for thought to just think about day to day:
1. The Intentional Pause
Getting caught up in life can be our default mode. Borrowed from the science of mindfulness, the power of taking a moment to ‘just be’ can teach you a lot about yourself. HIGHLY recommend these two videos where the speakers eloquently break it down:
2. Savoring
In the field of Positive Psychology, ‘savoring’ is defined as the act of intentionally attending to an experience in life. While it is traditionally regarded in the context of pleasurable experiences to make them feel even more positive, I would venture to suggest you try savoring any moment you feel called to. What does the moment of the commute to work in the car feel like? What does the moment feel like while you’re waiting for the water to boil? Probably nothing profound...but just taking a quick pause to savor the living of life can slowly build a practice.
3. Reflective Listening
The science and art of listening and interpersonal dynamics warrant a dedicated blog post to even scratch the surface of psychology and communications research. What I’m suggesting here isn’t so much to learn about the complex ins and outs of practicing reflective listening, which often has applications in conflict resolution. My aim is to introduce the idea of truly tuning in to the words of another, which can inadvertently land one in the present moment and encourage (what feels like) more meaningful connection. When we’re conversing with someone, our brains are often spending time either editing and amending what the other person is saying, or trying to formulate a response so we know what to say next. Since our attention span is less sophisticated than we think, this detracts from being present with the person. Give this a try when having a conversation about your partner’s day, if a stranger begins talking to you, or with your kiddos. You can definitely try it in a situation with conflict, too, but I find it interesting to whip out when I’m having a random conversation to ground me.
I certainly don’t have all the answers. I simply think about these ideas (probably more than I should) in an effort to savor this precious life while I can. Thank you for reading, and I’m thrilled you’re joining me!
All my love,
Maggie
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